Might make a series out of this...

Sorry if it has a bit of bad grammar, I'm just 13. Okay, so I might make this into a series, that's why I posted it here. Please enjoy the sneak peak! If there is like spelling error or grammar problems, please comment! Thanks! :DDD

Chapter 1
It was a warm summer day in Toronto, Cindy just woke up from working late last night, “Damn, last night was horrible…I’m going to sleep more” When suddenly the phone rang, “Who could it be this time?!” she picks up the phone “Hello?” “Cindy?” it was Jason, her boyfriend, “Jason! Why are you calling me this time?!” “Don’t ask any questions, meet me at Lovely Cakes! Meet you there in 15 minutes!” “But wai-“he hung up on her, “15 minutes?! I can’t get ready in that little time he gives me!”

She steps in the café, “Huh…He’s late. I guess I’ll sit down, then a maid runs up to Cindy and dragged her to a reserved table, she sat down and that maid left, “The maids are acting really weird today” as she stares at each one of them, apparently they were all smiling at Cindy…”How creepy”

While she was waiting for her Jason, she slowly got hungry, she was literally drooling at the basket of bread in front of her, she grabbed one and started to eat it, then a silent crunch, she stared at the bread...It was an engagement ring stuck in the piece of bread, she quickly realised the situation as she spotted Jason.
She stuffed the engagement ring into another piece of bread.

Jason sat down, slowly growling for food, "Phew! My stomach must be really hungry! Why don't we eat some bread before our food arrives?" as he passes the bread to Cindy.

"Oh! No thanks! I might get full!” holds her stomach like she was full.
"Eat it. . ." as he angrily stares at her. She took another piece of bread from the basket, she ate it. She kept eating bread until it was the last piece, that piece was the one with the engagement ring. . . She picked it up, and munched on the other side of the bread that didn't contain the ring, she put down the piece of bread, and she was full. He then forced her to rip and eat it in bits, so she did. She then put the whole piece in her mouth and pretended to choke.

"Did you swallow the ring?!" He yelped with shock, "Nooo. . ." As she un-stuffed her mouth and passed the wet ring over to Jason. At that minute she realised Jason was going to say the 4 words she hated most of all.

"Will you marry me?"

Eheheh I do enjoy myself the sound of drama coming right up on the corner~

I like the ending, it keeps the suspense in place. But i do have to say YES there is SEVERAL grammartic errors. I think if you use more semicolons it would fit more properly and such. I also think if you describe cindy and the items she touches and stuff let the read imagine even more > u < .

Thanks for the feedback I'll try to look it over again and fix it ^^"